Makeup is magical

     I have a love for makeup. Like a huge love. A love that causes me to spend $20+ on a single eyeshadow and not bat an eye. I'd give up eating for a day if it meant I'd be able to afford a new lime green eyeshadow that would look amazing with my hair. It's just how I am. I guess there are worst things out there you could spend your money on... like drugs... or cigarettes. Makeup is much better for my health.

     Today, I'm going to share with you what exactly I do to make my face this lovely. No, I don't just wake up looking this flawless. It takes a small amount of work. I'm kidding, obviously. But in all seriousness it does take a fair amount of products to get the results I enjoy. I tend to switch them out often for others I find. I've fallen in love with a few products that were sent to me from Ipsy. I swear this subscription is one of the best things I've ever signed up for. If you love makeup then I recommend you go and sign up for it. You can find Ipsy here.

     I know most people are afraid of color. I am not one of those people. If my eyeshadow isn't extremely bright than I don't want to wear it. Neutrals are my enemy. You won't find any "nude" shades here. I think that if more people took a chance with bright colors they would find that they are actually acceptable to wear. I personally think the darker the skin tone the prettier it looks, but that's just my opinion.

     At the moment, my favorite palette is BH Cosmetic's "Take me to Brazil". It is GORGEOUS and has such vibrant shades. They are highly pigmented so what you see is what you get. As you can see from the photo, all of these colors are pretty used. A few shades are running dangerously low. I may have to buy a new one soon. Luckily for me, one of these costs a mere $20 and can be found on Amazon. I love it and it's an awesome palette to use if you're just wanting to try a few bright colors. They are just as good as a lot of high-end makeups.

     Okay, on to my routine. I like to start out with a moisturizer to prime my face with. I'm currently using one that was sent to me from Ipsy. It's by Lather and it's their ultra light face lotion. It smells like roses and I heart it so hard. I'm trying not to look at prices of these items because I know they are going to be way too expensive to replace. I'd spend it on an eyeshadow but not a moisturizer. Perhaps I should spend more money on my face though. I'm almost freaking thirty years old. Fucking wrinkles are coming... and I'm scared. But anyways... I'm going to try not to think of such a depressing matter and get back to my makeup. Ahem.  My face is primed and smelling like a flower, now what? Normally I would use a foundation to start out with but today is different.
    

     Today I am using one of the most amazing products I have been sent from Ipsy. It is by it Cosmetics and it's their "Your skin but better CC cream". This cream, I assume, is made from the tears of unicorns and then mixed with the sweat of an angel. It's the best shit I have ever used and I am extremely sad to say that it costs a whopping $38.00 on their website. I almost cried when I saw how much it was because I was instantly addicted the moment I used it. I have freckles from the sun along with redness on my cheeks. A drop of this amazing elixir of the makeup gods and they are airbrushed away as if they never existed. AMAZING.

     Look at this. Flaws are gone. I might as well just stop there. I look amazing already. But I wont. Nope, going to add to the beauty. I use an eyeshadow primer by Nyx on both eyelids. I got this at Target for pretty cheap. Just rub that into each eyelid. This will ensure that you wont get creases in your eyeshadow throughout the day. Nothing worse than thinking you've been looking flawless and then catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and seeing the heartbreaking eyeshadow creases across your masterpiece. UGH! So always prime. You wont regret it!

     Next, I sometimes cover my eye in a white eye pencil. This helps really make your eyeshadow pop. I recommend doing this if you have a darker skin tone. If you're pale you probably have white enough skin to make any shadow look vibrant. I used a NYX jumbo eye pencil in Milk. I got mine from an amazing makeup artist named Lexi whom runs the MadeULook youtube channel. She is amazing and you should check her out. My sister and I got invites to her 1 million subscriber party and got a bag full of goodies. But that's a post for another day.

     After that I cover my lid it a lovely dark lime green. Next I take a bright neon green and go around the lime green color on the outside. After that I take a dark green and go across my crease and down across the lash line making a kind of pointed C shape. Then blend, blend and blend! You want the colors to fade into each other. After that I grab my white on a blending brush and go from the inner corner of my eye and swipe out and over my brow bone. I do this is a sort of swirling motion helping it all blend together.

 

     After that I take a liquid eyeliner pen and swipe a fine line across the lash line. This helps your eyes pop. I used Physicians Formula. Its thick and I love it. This can be tricky to do if you aren't used to it. I find it easier to keep my eye open as I swipe otherwise my eye does this weird twitching thing and it comes out wonky. I used to be terrified of liquid eyeliner because of how easy it is to make a mistake. I've become a pro with all the practice. I can now apply it even with a two year old running in between my legs. Once you apply the eyeliner I like to apply some to my lower water line with a normal eyeliner. I'm all about the dramatic eye! After that just do a few swipes of mascara and you're done! I personally go another step and use a pressed powder to take away any shininess that the foundation has left behind. I'm not into looking like a greasy faced teenager.

     Now for the before and after. Don't mind the eyebrows. I know they aren't "on fleek" as the teenagers say. They need a proper plucking soon. But anyways... that's the work that goes into this face. Really not that much. It's basically the same for every color. I challenge you to be bold and try a bright color. Let me know how it turns out. I'd love to see!

    

The dreaded single life.

     I never thought when I had my son that I'd ever have to worry about dating later on down the line. You kind of assume that you'll always be with your partner... especially one with whom you've had a child. Most of the time these days that's not the case. I was no exception to this. I found myself single about 10 months ago with a baby whom was still being breastfed. How do you date when your nipples run the chance of leaking? The answer for me was that you don't. I waited for several months with a couple half-assed attempts along the way.

     I only started getting serious with it at the beginning of this year. How does one go about finding potential mates in this day and age? I personally don't get out much. All of my friends live about an hour away so finding a wing woman to go out with was impossible. Besides the fact that they are all happily married or in serious relationships of their own with babies and lives. I was alone in this endeavor. I decided to take my chances with online dating.

 

     Ahh tinder. Raise your hand if you've tried this app. Now put your hand down if you used this app while in a relationship. Okay, now lower your hand if you used it just to hook up no strings attached.  Hmm looks like that's most of you. Yeah that about sums up tinder. What did I honestly expect though from an app that is based mostly on someones appearance? 

   

     This app made me feel like an asshole. How many nice guys might I have passed on just because they took a bad photo? Then you get a match and hope that they message you first because wouldn't messaging them make you look desperate? I'm just glad random people weren't allowed to message you unless you swiped yes. That can get super overwhelming after a while. 

     With tinder I decided on three guys. Lets call them Bachelor #1, Bachelor #2 and Bachelor #3. Bachelor #1 was a tattoo artist who lived about 45 minutes away. He was almost seven feet tall and seemed nice. We talked for a bit but he was making excuses not to meet me. Red flag here ladies. If the woman is the one trying to meet up and the man doesn't want to there is something wrong. I eventually stopped talking to him because he thought he was the best tattoo artist in the world and because I hadn't gotten mine from him they were crap. Yeah he said my tattoos were all crap. He didn't understand why I'd be offended by this. FYI two of my tattoos were done by an amazing and brilliant lady whose work on my body gets complimented all the time. This guy was a doucher.

     Bachelor #2 I met. I went out with him twice thinking he'd be a good guy. He had a nice job and four (FOUR!) kids all of which he had custody of. He also wrote and illustrated his own horror comic. I went to school for this so it intrigued me. After seeing his work I wasn't exactly impressed but I was willing to look past his lack of actual talent. Divorced single father does not a gentleman make. He was exactly what you think you'd find on tinder. A handsy mother fucker only wanting one thing. Needless to say I told him to piss off after the second date.

     Now on to Bachelor #3. At this point I think I was slightly desperate to have something work out. This guy was a huge dork which I loved. He liked x-men (maybe a little too much. More on that in a minute) and had similar taste in music. He was tall with long, slightly greasy hair that I assume was made that way from the Wolverine hat that he NEVER. TOOK. OFF. When I say never I mean never. He wore it at all times. He wore it to work. He wore it outside of work. He wore it sometimes in bed. I'm pretty sure he thought he was wolverine... minus the muscles... and the claws... and the mutant healing abilities. Okay so I don't see how he would have thought he was Wolverine but he did. He really did. He was also just getting out of a marriage where his wife up and left him without warning. This guy was messed up. Her shit was still everywhere in their apartment like she just ran out to get a gallon of milk. Not really an ideal situation you want from a potential mate. After a month I realized that I was wasting my time and GTFO of there. 

     Okay, so tinder wasn't for me. I needed something with profiles and maybe a matching ability that didn't base everything on looks. I signed up for several sites that catered to a dorky lifestyle. They all either matched you with someone hundreds of miles away or required you to pay in order to talk to anyone. No thanks. I took a small hiatus before I decided to get back in the saddle again.

     Okcupid looked stupid to me. I just assumed it would be just as shitty as tinder. It's name for some reason pissed me off and reminded me of stupid teen dating sites like spin the bottle that I used when I was young. I tried it anyways because I was bored. Plus they had a nice profile section that I could write out all about myself... not that most of those asshats looked at that. Most men just look at your picture and message you. They don't bother to look and see any of my interests. I decided that I wasn't going to talk to anyone who didn't talk nerdy to me within the first few messages. 

     With this I instantly got overwhelmed. I was bombarded by messages from men. It was hard to sort through it all. I decided to talk to a couple and just ignore the rest because it was too much work. This time I thought I'd narrow it down to just two bachelors because three was too much last time. I picked one who messaged me off the bat and seemed interesting. We will call him Bachelor long hair. This is what i referred to him in real life with friends so it seems fitting. The second was the only person on any dating site that I messaged first. Waiting for Mr. right to find me wasn't working out for me. I had to take initiative. I'll call him Bachelor way too sexy for me. Because that was my initial thought. A girl's gotta try, right?

     Bachelor long hair was nice. He had several odd jobs like a mattress inspector. Isn't that on a t-shirt somewhere? I didn't know that was a real job. He also bred rats. Yes, I said rats. His sweetness outweighed his weirdness. I decided to meet him for dinner and a movie. Dinner went well. He was shorter than expected but that's okay. Conversation was easy and there wasn't any awkwardness. We decided to go for a walk before the movie which was nice. We talked and got to know each other. Have I met someone who I could potentially date? Not so fast there, Autumn. We haven't gotten to the movie yet. How can a movie get fucked up you might wonder. Well I'm here to tell you how. 

     Two drunken men hell bent on ruining a movie is not what you want near you on a first date. Unfortunately they sat down right next to me. They called me red. They kept saying crude sexual things to me until I eventually got up and moved. I have a bad temper and didn't want to yell in front of my date. Moving, sadly, didn't help. They cat called to me across the theater until I had to get up and get a manager. Yes me, not my date. He sat idly by. The managers came in with intent on kicking them out until they saw how large they were. They then promptly gave a stern warning and ran out with their tails between their legs. Eventually my date got them kicked out after it wouldn't stop and other patrons were getting bothered as well. We thought all was well until they came back in and spit in my date's face causing a fistfight to ensue. My date was wrestling on the ground with them until the police came. Not a good date. 

     Bachelor way too sexy for me was next. He had dark hair and green eyes and a strong jaw line that would make any straight woman melt. Not only was he knowledgeable in X-men (his favorite being Gambit who just so happened to be my favorite as well) but he had a sense of humor. Educated, funny, attractive, had a nice job, own place, a car, and no past lover baggage to be seen. What the hell was wrong with this guy? Why was he single? It seemed a little too good to be true. He was also slightly hard to read. I couldn't tell if he had any interest in me or was just a polite guy. We said goodbye with a first bump after standing in the restaurant's parking lot for 45 minutes talking after dinner. I didn't expect to hear from that sexy, sexy man ever again. But I did. 

     Date number two was pretty amazing. We went to an arcade and then geocaching. He kept getting closer to me to look at the map. If I was reading his signals correctly then he was actually into me. We went to dinner and then sat in his car talking for a few hours. The ending of the date left me confused again. It was awkward. I just wanted him to kiss me and give me a clear sign that he actually liked me and wasn't just wanting to be my friend. Eventually after several awkward moments of getting in and out of the car, he hugged me. Then he smelled me (ha ha) and kissed me. 

     Bachelor way too sexy for me is now just referred to as my boyfriend. I'm still wondering what could possibly be wrong with him because he just seems a little too perfect but I assume I'll eventually get used to not being disappointed. I'm happy and this is a new concept for me. So I guess if I had to recommend a dating site to use it would be okcupid. I personally think it was a fluke for me to find someone so amazing on there but who knows? Maybe you'll be the exception to the rule as well.

Tattoo Fading Tuesday - Week 1

     

     Some couples when they break up are left with invisible scars all over that eventually heal and are never seen again. I unfortunately am not one of those people. When I was eighteen I fell in love and by the time we were twenty we were married. Should I have waited? Absolutely. But it was an experience I wouldn't change. The only thing I might have rethought at that time was permanently inking that relationship on my body. We've been divorced for three years now and I  am reminded of it every time I look at my hand. 

     The funny thing is that he tattooed this onto me but then didn't end up getting it on himself as planned. At least we aren't matching. Tell that to potential future mates. Everyone I've dated since my divorce has seemed put off by it. I wear big chunky rings to cover it up but that just seems to draw more attention to it. I've decided its time to try and fade this bad boy!

     I've done several google searches along with using pinterest and I've decided on a method that doesn't seem painful. It's also one of the few that doesn't say will leave a scar. How well will this work? We will see. 

     The method I'll be trying for the next month is bentonite clay. Bentonite clay is composed of volcanic ash and is supposedly able to produce an "electrical charge" when wet. This "charge" is supposed to help draw out toxins. I've used this before in a facial mask (look for a future pintertest on this) so I've had some experience with how it works. I bought mine on amazon for about $12 for a huge 2 pound container of it. It has so many uses that the huge container of it is well worth getting. I bought the one that has calcium in it. 

What you need:

Bentonite Clay

Lemon juice

A small glass or plastic bowl

a measuring spoon

water

     Make sure not to use any metal when using the clay. Metal I guess neutralizes the ions in the clay which would defeat the entire purpose of using it. Before you start you're going to want to cleanse the tattoo and remove any extra dead skin there may be. I used a facial cleanser that exfoliates. You just need it lightly scrubbed. We don't want the area raw. The Aveeno daily scrub I used is pretty gentle. 

     Next you're going to want to get your small plastic or glass bowl and measure out enough clay to thickly cover the entire area of the tattoo. Since my tattoo is tiny I only used about a quarter of a teaspoon of it. Depending on the size of yours you may need to use more or less. 

     After you get the proper amount of clay you are going to want to add a few drops of lemon juice to it. The lemon juice I guess helps bleach the area. It can be irritating to some people so I'd adjust according to your skin sensitivity. I personally used 3 drops to mine because I know my skin can handle it. It was probably a little too much for the amount of clay I used but I will do anything to get this tattoo off of me. 

     Now you're going to want to add enough water to the mixture to make it sort of a thick soup consistency. You want the clay to be wet, but not so wet that it won't stick to you. If it becomes too thin you can always add more clay or even wait a few minutes. The mixture will thicken the longer it sits and dries. Mine kind of resembled oatmeal. 

     Now, you're going to want to spread it all around your tattoo, making sure to cover it completely. You want it a bit thick to make sure that the tattoo is saturated, but not so thick that it'll take all day to dry. 

     Now just let it dry! Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I timed mine at it took about 40 minutes to dry. Even after that amount of time it was still slightly damp. I probably should have waited another 20 minutes or so but it was starting to crumble. Also my son was growing impatient with me. He was afraid of the clay on my finger and kept getting upset when he'd come near me. I guess when you're two years old this stuff is pretty creepy. 

     After, I wiped off the excess clay with a damp paper towel. As it is clay, depending on how much you used its probably better to do this directly into a garbage can. I wouldn't recommend just washing it off directly into a sink as you run the chances of clogging your drain with the clay. After you have most of the big clumps off just wash the remainder of the clay with some soap and water. 

     And voila! Hmm... looks exactly the same. It does say that this can take a while to see any results. For people with sensitive skin it's recommended that you do this once a week. Since mine showed only miner irritation (I assume from using too much lemon juice) I'm going to try this twice a week. Every Tuesday and Friday is my goal with a weekly update every Tuesday. Let's see a side by side comparison of todays work, shall we?

     Don't get too excited. I'm pretty sure that slight fading is from better lighting. The first picture was taken with a flash. The after was used with a light that I will be using from here on out. We will see what the future holds for this tattoo removal! Check back next Tuesday for an update. Let me know in the comments below if you've tried this method yourself. I'm open to other methods to try later on as well!